Monday, April 1, 2013

Belonging: I get it.

On the Parents Beyond Belief page recently the moderator provoked a conversation about Belonging relating to our children and installing in them this sense.  I totally get the struggle.  I admire those that haven't had it and I'm slightly miffed too (not really). 

I used to belong.  I belonged to a community that was huge, enormous really.  Probably 95% of all the people I have ever been in relative close relation to either familial or friendly my entire lifetime have been followers of Christianity.  Either extreme really, devout to the Christmas and Easter Only crowd.  But, collectively, the majority of the people I relate to and have ever related to in an ongoing, cooperative, relational manner are believers. 

They make up a club that I, do not belong.  By proxy, my kids aren't really in that club either.  But the thing is, they don't care.  I do.  It is my issue, this "belonging" problem, not theirs. 

Because truly they belong to this family, to our community, the schools they are in, the club sports they play, the friends they hold, the friends we hold.  It is really me that feels the effects of the break up from religion. 

Of course, I could say I belong to all those things that I said my kids belong to and that would be true.  And I feel like I belong there.  But, I also feel that I don't belong in that other group, the one that predominantly is every where. 

I wonder, since they've never "belonged" to that group, will they ever feel that they don't belong?  I think they'll feel lots of belonging feelings towards lots of entities.

I think, by the nature of the break up, I have that loss.  This is my issue, not theirs.  Good for me to remember. 

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